I miss flying. Who doesn’t these days? I’m fortunate to have flown domestically within China a few times since the beginning of the pandemic. Can’t wait until I can fly internationally.
We all know airplane food is terrible in general, especially in economy class. Not only is the food bad, but the service is terrible as well. I remember the first time I flew business class for work, it was to Hong Kong from Beijing for my CX client. Upon boarding the plane, I was immediately served with a hot towel and a cold beverage. Then, the flight attendant handed me a menu to choose the lunch. Every item would be filled with description of the ingredients and how it was made e.g. “Chicken braised in brown sauce with shiitake mushrooms served over steamed vegetables and jasmine rice” “Filet Mignon with red wine reduction and honey glazed carrots”. It was a life altering experience.
For my next flight, I returned back to economy. I was depressed. It was not long ago that I’ve made it to business class, treated like a VIP. Now the flight attendant talks to me like I owe him money. “Chicken or beef” he says. I have so many questions – “how was the chicken cooked?” does it come with rice or noodles? What sauce comes with the beef? I can’t make this important lunch decision with simply chicken or beef. “Chicken or Beef” he repeats, this time sounding even more annoyed. “Beef I guess” as I lamented. Moving back to economy made me realize that the airplane class system is a true reflection of the inequality that the income disparity has created. One can argue that it’s money for service, you pay for what you get, but I don’t see it that way. I think airlines purposely treat you like shit in economy, they want you to suffer. The airlines make sure the business / first class people are boarded first, then they make every single economy class person to walk pass them and admire their luxury treatment in awe. Look at all the leg space, that large screen, oh look…she’s drinking champagne, wait a minute, that guy is not even wearing shoes. Then as you’re seated in your uncomfortable chair that can only recline for 5 degrees, after the plane reach cruising altitude, what is the first thing the flight attendant do? He closes the curtain between upper class and economy as if to signal you are not allowed to peak into the lifestyle of the rich and famous.
So why am I ranting about airline service? Well, because I have so many weird stories from flying, and with the recent rise in violence against Asians (sorry, I wrote this in April), I thought about a time I encountered, I don’t know to properly label the situation but, I guess I would label it as a racially stereotypical reaction from the flight attendant.
This happened on an Air France business class flight back from Paris to Shanghai. Now, usually for the return flights, the airline would have fewer Chinese-speaking attendants than the outbound flights, and sometimes none at all. For that reason, on return flights, I generally try to establish that I can speak English very early on, I’ll either ask for a drink, or an extra pillow to the non-Chinese speakers so they know that I speak English. The reason I do that is because I want the same service as everyone else, I don’t want the fact that they may assume I don’t speak English be a factor that they’ll try to avoid dealing with me. This time though, I didn’t ask for anything, I was tired, it’s been a long trip and I just wanted to go home.
For this particular flight, all the entrees were laying bare on the trolley they brought out. The flight attendant thoroughly explained every single dish, then asked each passenger if he wanted a cheese plate to start, then explained which wine paired well with the cheese and the entree. Then the entrée would be taken to the kitchen to be heated. Every passenger took a long time to explain and there were a few guys ahead me, I was hungry. By the time the flight attendant got to me, I had already memorized his routine having seen him perform the same routine many times now. He’s going to ask me which platter, then he’ll recommend some wine to pair with that drink, then he’ll say whether I want a salad or a cheese plate to start. I knew I wanted the steak, some champagne and a cheese plate to start and as the flight attendant walked over towards me he had a very nervous look, and I knew what was going to come next.
He said
“Uh…..would you like some….uh, we have the Chinese noodles, and uh….”
At this point he pulled out the menu and pointed at the dish….
”We have the Chinese noodles….WOULD YOU LIKE THE CHINESE NOODLES?”
At this point in my mind I am Dave Chappelle’s “When Keeping it real goes wrong”
NO MOTHERFUCKER! I don’t want no damn Chinese noodles, it is so fucking patronizing, there’s no description underneath, it just says Chinese noodles.
I looked at him like an Asian father disappointed at his son for getting a 95 on his calculus exam and I said
“I’ll have a steak, a cheese plate to start, with a glass of Champagne and a whisky, double……merci”
Listen, being profiled when traveling is nothing new for me. Every time at a duty free store at the airport, whether it is NYC or Amsterdam, as soon as I get to the counter, you’ll see the white salesperson smoothly walks away and then a Chinese speaker will swoop right in. I totally get it from a business perspective and why they would do that. But, doesn’t it take away from the whole point of traveling? I’ll give you an example, a few years ago we went to Tokyo. From the moment we stepped off the plane, all the way from the airport to the hotel, then to the restaurant, all I heard was Chinese. It was as though I never left Shanghai.
When I travel, I want that authentic experience, I don’t want the commercialized, catering to all the tendencies of Chinese travelers. When I go to Paris, I don’t want Chinese noodles, I can stay in China for that. I want to eat what the locals eat. Similar to what we do in advertising these days. We take superficial information from you and make judgements on what advertisements suit you. Is it really better? Or we use your past purchase decision and push something similar to you to reinforce something you’ve already done. Is that experience really what we want?
Work talk aside, I did have some Chinese noodles on one of those business class flights. I was flying to London via Taipei I believe (probably for the Sony pitch). It was Eva Air, I have to say one of my favorite to fly long haul, the food is always spectacular and the drink menu is the best. On this particular flight, I may or may not have drunk a full bottle of Veuve to go along with some delicious Taiwanese beef noodle soup. Taiwanese beef noodle soup is the freaking crown jewel of Taiwanese street food. I hate that term, “street food”. It implies that it is cheap and should never go beyond a certain price point and I really hate that. You can charge a lot for a plate of pasta but if you charge a bit more for beef noodle soup, people will go insane and I can argue that a bowl of beef noodle soup takes longer time to make and uses more expensive ingredients than a plate of spaghetti but here we are. Another thing I hate about Taiwanese beef noodle soup is the concept of authenticity. Compared to ramen which has made insane evolution in the last twenty years, Taiwanese beef noodle soup has made very very little progress due to the idea that you have to be remain authentic to whatever recipe your grandma passed down. Grandma might know a lot of things, but grandma also didn’t grow up with pressure cookers, sous vide machines, Costco, same day deliveries, the internet and all the wonders of modern day society. I dunno what improvements you can make on beef noodle soup but I’m sure there are possibilities where it can evolve. To that, I leave you with a bowl made from my master chef BFF Steven Liu. It’s quite possibly the best bowl of beef noodle soup I’ve ever had.
Taiwanese beef noodle soup from Steven Liu….hey, at least I chopped the cilantro